


Secrets of a Lifetime

by huniths-muse (sopaltenbass)



Series: Heirs of Albion [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Lives (Merlin), Birthmarks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Post Mpreg, Post-Battle of Camlann (Merlin), Scars, consent is important kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopaltenbass/pseuds/huniths-muse
Summary: Arthur notices that his son has a very distinctive birthmark. Turns out, Merlin has one too.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Heirs of Albion [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838926
Kudos: 108
Collections: Merlin Bingo





	Secrets of a Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> Written within my Heirs of Albion AU. Occurs after the events of my fic, The Speech, between the last chapter and the epilogue of HoA: Destinies (which is almost finished, but not posted yet... It's coming soon, I promise!)
> 
> Written as a fill for Merlin Bingo 2021, for the prompt: Birthmarks.

"Merlin?" Arthur's voice was tinged with concern. Given that his betrothed was gazing down at Benjy in his cradle, Merlin was immediately on edge.

"What's wrong, Arthur? What's the matter?" Merlin tensed in his chair by the hearth, gripping the arms of the chair so tightly, his knuckles turned white. He winced slightly as he felt a twinge in his chest.

Arthur lifted their son out of his cradle, cuddling him close to his chest. He brought the child over to where Merlin was, one hand extended in a placating gesture. "Nothing's wrong. He's fine. See?" The little boy cooed up at his parents.

"What, then? You sounded worried," Merlin asked. He was breathing hard, trying to tamp down his panic.

"Not worried, just curious," Arthur said soothingly. "He's fine, Merlin, really. I'm sorry I made you anxious."

Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shut as he got his breathing under control again. "I get scared he's going to stop breathing, and we won't know until it's too late," Merlin said very quietly.

"That's not going to happen, love. If we don't have him here with us, he'll be with your mother or the wet nurse. I know you trust your mother at least to look after him. Right?"

Merlin nodded, reaching out for his son. He sniffed a bit, dabbing at his eyes with his sleeve as the baby nuzzled into his chest. "I suppose I've just been thinking a lot about the night he was born. It took a while before Mother got him breathing on his own."

Arthur smiled at the two of them. "He's strong, and he's a fighter, just like his papa. It wasn't him I was afraid of losing in the week or so after I found you, truth be told."

"I'm sorry I kept him a secret from you. I didn't know how you would feel. How you would react. I never dared expect any of this," Merlin said, gesturing around the room, "and least of all this," he added, thumbing and rotating the ring that marked him as Arthur's.

Arthur hummed contentedly, wrapping both Merlin and Benjy in his arms. "You and our little one are the best thing that has happened to me since, well, you know, since."

It was Merlin's turn to hum in contentment. Then he met Arthur's eye. "You were going to ask me something."

"Hmmm? Oh! Yeah, I was. I suppose you know about his mark?"

"Mark?"

"The birthmark, on his chest."

"Oh, that. Yes, I know about it." Merlin was decidedly avoiding looking at Arthur now.

"What do you think caused it? It's quite… distinctive, wouldn't you say?" Arthur reached out, tugging the wrappings free, baring the baby's front. The port wine stain was revealed, the mark looking very nearly as if it were a brand rather than a birthmark: a dragon, wings spread as if in flight.

"Well…" Merlin began, looking anywhere but at Arthur. "He has a certain... birthright. As the son of a Dragonlord. The mark is the outward sign he carries of that lineage."

"Do you mean to say, every person destined to be a Dragonlord carries a similar mark?" Arthur asked. Merlin gave a small nod. "But you don't. I would have noticed it by now."

"Actually, I do," Merlin mumbled, so quietly he could barely hear it himself.

"What?"

Merlin cleared his throat and tried again. "Actually, I do," he repeated. "I never liked it, so I've hidden it."

Arthur just stared at him for a moment. Then he took a breath and asked, "Why didn't you like it?"

"It was just one more thing that made me different, and I had enough to deal with without worrying about the other boys laughing at me whenever I took my shirt off."

"Where is it?"

"Same place. The glamour I use to hide it is so second nature by now I hardly register that I'm doing it."

"May I see it?" Arthur asked. Merlin looked away. "I promise I won't laugh, Merlin. I want you to feel like you can be yourself. All of yourself." Merlin gulped, but nodded. He held out Benjy for Arthur to return to his cradle. His hands trembled as he fiddled with the knot of his neckerchief. Arthur returned to his side and took his hands in his own. "Nervous?"

"Yeah. The only people who've seen it are my mother and… and Will." There were tears in Merlin's eyes now. Arthur's heart sank.

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I didn't mean to push. You don't have to show me if you don't want to."

"No, I want to. I do trust you, Arthur. It's just… hard. To move past habits I've had my entire life."

"I can help if you want. We'll take it slow, all right?" Merlin nodded, inhaling sharply through his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. Arthur pressed his forehead against Merlin's, cupping his face in his hands. "I've got you. You're safe. I love you."

Merlin tilted his face up, brushing noses with Arthur, and kissed him. "I love you too, so much." He guided Arthur's hands back to the knot of his neckerchief. Arthur's fingers made quick work of the knot, revealing Merlin's throat and collarbones. 

Merlin balled his hands into fists, squeezing them tight for a moment before releasing them and reaching for the hem of his shirt. He pulled it off over his head, keeping his arms in the sleeves, holding the fabric to his chest, suddenly shy.

"I've seen you before, Merlin. You have nothing to be ashamed of," Arthur told him, gently peeling the shirt from Merlin's skin. "All these marks show," he said, as he traced his fingers over the faded scars of Nimueh's blast and the serket sting on his chest, and the arrow wound in his stomach, "is the lengths you have gone to in order to keep this Kingdom and me safe."

"Arthur," Merlin said, burying his fingers in the other man's golden hair. His breath was coming harsher as he steeled himself to lower his final defense.

"You're amazing, love. Show me. Let go, for me."

Merlin inhaled deeply through his nose again, eyes closed once more. He held his breath for a moment, and then released it in a whoosh, letting the spell release at the same time.

The dragon seemed to bloom from the center of his chest outwards, the body appearing first, followed by the head and tail, and finally the wings, spread wide. Arthur stared in awe. While Benjy's mark resembled a particularly intricate birthmark, Merlin's was even more like a tattoo upon his skin. Arthur wondered if it was merely a trick of the firelight, or if the dragon's mouth was actually breathing flames onto Merlin's chest, just over his heart.

"It's," he began, but found himself lost for words.

"Enormous? Unnatural? Grotesque?" Merlin supplied, and Arthur just knew these were some of the things Merlin had heard about his mark as a boy, why he had hidden it.

"Incredible, beautiful, so intricate, amazing!" Arthur substituted, feeling the need to give Merlin new descriptors to own about his mark. "I want you to be proud of this, Merlin. I don't want you to hide it. Not from me, and not from our son. I never want him to be ashamed of who he is or what he is to become."

Merlin smiled. "Our little dragon wrangler. I only wish Aithusa was more trusting of me. I want to introduce her to Benjy from a young age. I think it's important that they form a bond early on. I don't want them to end up like Kilgarrah and me."

"I'm sure they won't," Arthur said. "Now, seeing as I've got you half undressed already, shall we go to bed?"

"All right, but just to sleep," Merlin said, rising somewhat stiffly from his seat.

Arthur smiled back at him. "You have my word. Just to sleep."


End file.
